Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
