You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
