I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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