Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
