Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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