Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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