He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
