walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize