You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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