ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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