the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
