Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
