Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
