So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
