pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize