remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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