no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
