What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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