Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
