so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
