so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
