Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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