The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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