You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
