And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
