Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
