this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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