I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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