It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
