Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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