the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
