You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
