Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
