Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
