he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i out mim tonsoeep
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