so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize