My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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