We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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