yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
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