just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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