She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
