I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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