Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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