I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize