did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
