Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
