just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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