and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im holly from the hills drunk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
