opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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