i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
