She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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