This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
