so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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