This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Alive.
So much puke
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
