dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
