I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
