so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
