there was a trapeze. enough said
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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