I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she looked like the before picture.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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