it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize