If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
