booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
