Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
