Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize