How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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