I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Come on in and take your pants off
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